Why adults date other marrieds?
Chat about a loaded issue that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Amusing thing, affairs have been going on from ancient times. Extramarital affairs can be burdened with problems, cause heartache, and other harms. Also you should wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and sincerety issue, funds, age difference, faith background, guilt, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I will define an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, discreet dating for married.
Why do people have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seek an extramarital affair. I am sure mostly though it is only the human state, the need for care, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
Physically we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is enjoyable and fun, and sex makes us flee the world for a small period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people can switch the craving on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another human being, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos the world has erected against affairs. For lots of individuals the yearnings will defeat their worries and make them risk the anger of not only their relatives, but society too. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is horribly good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not harm your family or anybody else? You would need to reduce the hazard you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the major grouping, huge really. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they feel happy in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to consider. Your finances are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live as a family besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them completing the sex operation, at least not with their spouse. An extra-marital affair sometimes solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage uharmed.
Avoidance, sorrowfully this is a ordinary cause I fear. One or the other, frequently the gentleman is sexually neglecting his spouse for a multitude of reasons. As a man I really am thankful to you guys neglecting your ladies and making them available to us guys of romance, making them “milf wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, maybe caring is gone, could be it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Could be we have just developed apart, our ordinary concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is diverce of what you want. Could be I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they seek the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for economic gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair